Upon the Eructation of Watermelon

Last Thursday, I bought a watermelon
It was of the seedless variety
It had a small soft spot
We did not need it immediately,
It resided upon our kitchen table three days.

Noon Monday my fourteen year old son
Noted a smell as of bread rising
“Mom, why does it smell like yeast?
It’s yucky”
As I was not baking bread,
Nor were the cats doing so
I had no clue.

The phone rang
As I spoke, I noticed an asymmetry
In the watermelon.

Ah! Thought I, the watermelon has gone bad!
I will remove it from my kitchen table.
The evil fungi had done their work
Fermenting the sweet interior of the fruit
Sealed within the leathery rind, anaerobically
Carbon dioxide had pressurized the spheroid.
Moving it provided release.
Watermelons eructate more than their body length.

Woe to my kitchen table
My tablecloth
My floor!

Odoriferous unplanned fermentation.

OK Aug is 12 and a half.  Close enough.

We left on Monday the 16th.  The plan was to drive to Albuquerque, collect John, visit sib in laws in Colorado, drive home by way of Mount Rushmore and the UP.

First stop was Fenton, Missouri.  Hot. Visited a friend of Aug's who is down there as result of parental split.  Checked out Lake of the Ozarks and the kids did a bit of swimming.  Pushed on the next day to Springfield, MO.  Nice Chinese resturant. 

Wednesday was supposed to take us across Oklahoma to the Texas border.  We made it to Chatham OK.  Where the car just refused to go farther.  The car was acting like I feel when I'm having a bought of anemia.  The folks running the towing company were sweet and helpful, tried to find someplace local to service the car (Changed out the fuel filter which he declared had not been replaced "Since Jesus wore triangular britches") , but we ended up being towed into Oklahoma City.  It was the fuel pump, which resides in the gas tank.  Add into that the lack of familiarity these folks have with salt belt cars and it was an adventure.  Kids swam and I sulked.  Hadn't expected THAT little expense.

Got the car back late Thursday afternoon.  (the rental car was a Dodge Ram pickup OMG!) We needed to meet John noonish in Albuquerque.  560 miles.  Then drive to Durango 240 miles.  We slept in our clothes and rolled out at 430.  Made it to Albuquerque with a litle help from the time change.  John drove to Durango.  There were monsoon thunderstorms. 

Durango was great, visited John's brother, our SIL Marti, and nieces Rowan and Riley.  They took the kids to the HP party.  We crashed.  Saturday, John read DH.  Sunday we went fishing and I read DH.  The nieces were appalled at our use of big words.  Joanne read DH Monday through Wednesday.  We saw what happens when a flatland trucker drives over the mountains and depends on his brakes (he lived, but the trick occupied 25% of its formed volume. The locals got free apples by scavenging the wreck.  We  had monsoon thunderstorms every day, went fishing and did a bit of hiking.  Its hard to hike at 2 miles up.

Tuesday we headed off, having decided to skip the UP loop of the trip in interest of managing the cash flow.  Saw the Crazy Horse memorial and Mt Rushmore.  Had a posthumous birthday party for my Dad.  With two hailstorms and a power outage at the hotel (power went off as we were stepping out of the elevator).  Stopped at Wall Drug because everyone deserves a tourist trap sometimes.

AS we were driving across the south end of Minnesota, we got a call from Joanne's boyfriend, who had been watching the house.  Seems the refrigerator had died, several days previous, and he hadn't noticed, so everything in it was very very smelly.  He had it partially cleared out for us.  Got back to Wisconsin on Friday and took care of the last (I hope) bits of legal stuff for Dad's estate.  Visited friends in Eau Claire and got pie at the Norske Nook.

Fridge needed a new relay, thats taken care of.  We also took it apart and gave it a good cleaning.
That was two weeks ago, I go back to school in a week.  Lordy, I'm tired!

I have reached that stag in life when my body does not love me.  No, it never did, but now its worse.
I have rosacea, which means if I do not take care of my face I will look like WC Field.

Monday I am going to have it treated.  It involves smearing lidocane all over my face and then letting my lovely dermatologist  shoot laser beams at my face, repeatedly.  I am hoping her being in a wheelchair does not mess things up too much.

So I am not to go into direct sunlight, get overheated or overimbibe for the next 4 to six weeks or else it will scar.  Feh.

So no camping events for me this year, and I had hoped to get to Swine and WW.  But the Swine site is not shady and the WW new site has no trees except by the stage (checked the satellite pics)

Maybe we can figure out some way to get to Swine.

I need to pass off some liqueur for Her Radiance.  After all that bending, you'll need it!

Today was the last day, finals were last week.  the last grade was posted, the last comment entered.  Lots o22's (overly talkative) and 31's (not working to ability)

Its sad but gratifying to complete another school year.  there are regrets that I could not motivate all the students, and pride in those who tried so damn hard, but still could only manage a "D".  Its time to start thinking about next year and the changes we'll be making.  We've done some major curriculum revisions, and my senior course will be true AP for the first time.

Last Saturday was graduation.  More than 700.  A whole bunch of teachers (one per row of 16 supervise.  We get to wear out college hoods  (mine was wrong) and  look like escapees from Hogwarts.  My hood was UW-Eau Claire, at least they got the country right.  One of my fellow monitors has a degree from Dominican and she got something from the Dominican Republic.

It was warm and sunny and windy, except when it rained.  The microphones didn't like the wind.  I asked my 16 to be dignified for 2 hours, but one of them opened up with silly string at the end of the ceremony.  she was totally surprised that was angry with her. 

Time to start summer, yardwork and houses cleaning.

John tells me this is common.
My previous post  on this topic flew off into the ether

The class reunion is winding down for the year.
Saw very many people.  Fed very many people.
The liqueur went over well, and even garnered a few ideas for improvement.

Soon it will be time for the last week of school and then graduation, when all the teachers looks like escapees from Hogwarts
we wear black Master's degree robes with the appropriate colored hoods from our alma maters and areas.
Most have education degrees, with white hoods, but being science from US, I have red and gold.
The sleeve are fun with closed tubular dependences from them.  I understand the original purpose was carrying lecture notes.  I have
sunscreen and keys in mine.

We are planning a mad dash to Madison Saturday morning for plants before graduation and the science department party is Saturday night.  Then Monday is the last day of school.  Tuesday is for sleeping, then gardening, organizing papers, organizing my Fathers house and it will be time to get ready for school again.

We do plan to go out to Colorado in July to coordinate with one of John's endless training sessions.

Next year I should get working on whatever graduate program I decide is best suited for me.  Can't decide if I want to go into curriculum or administration.  One of my co-workers has decided I should get a PhD in curriculum, but I think that would take me until I retire, for the type 75 MS is much more likely.

Oh, at the livejournal party there were some Japanese cookies, sort of triangular fortune cookies, maybe ginger flavored?  They had a bauble in them.  Anyone know what they are?  I'd like to get them for the anime club, but they were brought in by some japanese fen and the provenance of them is unknown.

Well, in a fit of work avoidance, I'm actually starting my livejournal.  The final is ready for printing, the AP certification has come through and I don't feel like grading.  So here I am.
Looking forward to the WisCon crowd  its too normal here, need a dose of craziness.

One of the things I do for my AP students every year is present them with a cookbook.  I figure if they can do chem labs, they can cook.  The recipes range from mashed potatoes (actually, I included how to cook rice after discovering one of Aug's friends Mom's didn't know how) to potica.